8 Life lessons you can learn from lesbian romance novels

Can a lesbian romance novel offer profound life lessons?

Or are they just fluffy marshmallows and heaving bosoms?

You know what it’s like when your life feels as if it’s all hot water bottles and big pants. Bridget Jones showed us quite clearly, after all.

Is there are another solution? Well, romance novels are a cross between ‘mother’s little helper’ and the Big Book of Dating Data! You could do much worse than curl up on the sofa with a lesbian romance! But not for too long, mind.

If you’re prepared to read with your antennae twitching you can learn much about relationships.  The art of seduction and being the girl everyone wants, are also useful by products. So if you’re game let’s see just what a lesbian romance novel can offer apart from, well, romance.

8 Life lessons you can learn from lesbian romance novels

•  Life is what you make it. Waiting for Miss Right to appear is not the way forward. She is unlikely to drive up in a pink MG anytime soon, unless you both happen to meet at an MG owners’ club! What we learn from romance and lesbian romance is the girl has to get on with her life. Networking, whether that’s at work, in the wine bar or at an evening class is the way a girl finds love. Lying on the sofa in sweat pants and watching endless re-runs of Modern Family while eating Pot Noodles is not the way forward. Every heroine needs to be living a life, not simply waiting for it to happen to her. So the top takeaway? Every heroine actively pursues what’s important in her life.

• Don’t close down communication. We all pine for romance, that lingering look across a crowded room, the romantic gesture, the unexpected bouquet. It doesn’t have to be fantasy that belongs in a bodice ripper but the key is to be open to possibilities. Scan the room, stare back mischievously, reply in open-ended ways to encourage conversation. Reality can be just like a plot from a lesbian romance if you’d like it to be.

• Be a tad vulnerable but forget being needy. For goodness sake stay off the ‘she broke my heart and I never recovered stories’. There’s nothing more off putting than listening to long and drawn out love stories from the past. There’s one thing sharing experiences but don’t look to a potential partner for therapy. Being melodramatic about the past never captured a princess.

• The right person always commits in the end. As our modern day philosopher Oprah once said: ‘If they’ve shown you they’re a “sh*t” once, don’t give them the opportunity to show you again.’ Our romantic heroines always have staying power and keep going even when they feel like dying inside. The right person is there so don’t you dare settle for second best!

• Appreciate the tiny moments. We all look forward to the romantic climax, the big set piece. The trick is to appreciate the little things as well as the big gestures. In fact, if there’s a great lesson to pick up from lesbian fiction or romances in general, is our need to live in the moment. Learn to love the bag of Jelly Tots that appears on your desk; the fact someone remembers you don’t take milk in tea; the way they smile when you walk in a room. These are romantic moments and plenty of these add up to something really very warm and exciting.

• Never underestimate or overlook the one who is always there. Many lesbian romances shun the reliable type. Many main characters pine for the rogue, the treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen brigade. Yes, there’s excitement as they gallop through the night for a stolen kiss. But what do you do when there’s no one there when something more mundane but important occurs? Romances teach you not to settle for the bad ‘un as ‘no good will come of it!’ You’ve been warned!

• Romances show you a different perspective. The exact thing you physically hate about yourself may be just what attracts another person. You might think you’re too short, too freckly, have a turned up nose or short legs. But everything we are makes up the whole. It’s great to read a lesbian romance where one falls head over heels with anything other than a textbook beauty. Hurrah for that!

• Become a voyeur with a lesbian romance. These are just the safe, anonymous place you can explore all those questions about sex you might have been too shy to ask. You can indulge in your own ‘voyeuristic’ world and decide just what makes you comfortable and then go off and experiment. Perfect wouldn’t you say?